Only one last time
Will you hear my words,
Will you feel my touch,
Or will you hear my laughter.
For now I am ready to depart from Earth
And go on to my neverending slumber.
To all of you who loved me
I'm sorry to leave you with this misery.
I just want you to know one last thing:
You meant more to me than anything.
Individually, I don't have much to say.
You were all special in your own unique ways.
To that one girl, I hope you know,
This decision was made long ago.
If anything you gave me life,
Because having you by my side kept me alive.
So don't blame yourself'
For what happened to me,
Instead, keep me alive in your memory.
And whenever you're sad
Think of how much I loved you.
Think of how much it meant
When I got to hug you.
Those times we kissed
Meant everything to me.
Those few loving kisses
Were more important
Than anything could ever be.
Even though our lips never met again
I will always remember that first one.
The moment was perfect,
I had you in my arms,
I leaned in for the kiss
And my lips met yours.
I want to thank you for my first real kiss,
The first one to ever have feeling.
To the people I hurt
Please know I never meant to.
Everything I did to you
Was a terrible mistake.
I regret a lot of things I did
And am upset about some of the opportunities
That I just did not have the courage to take.
In all honesty, a lot of things scare me,
But I do not fear death.
I know that death will set me free
And let me out of this place of torture and misery.
I will leave behind
All those who say they love me,
Because I highly doubt their love is true.
Sometimes their actions
Are different from their words.
Sometimes what they say
In't what they show.
To all of you people,
You made my time here better.
I just hope you remember
The words I left behind for you.
Just look at my poems and take the time
To see my message hidden inside.
Everything that I write has meaning
Even if some don't mean too much.
I never wrote anything for the sake of writing,
Everything that I write comes from my heart.
From my earliest works
To my most recent,
Everything, every word,
Had a reason.
All of my words come from experience
Even if they don't seem like it.
I'm proud of everything I write,
I don't care about the response,
Even if people don't like it,
It just gives me a reason to write.
It mans that there is still room to improve.
It means my poems are not perfect.
Like my life, these imperfect poems shall end.
But not without leaving my mark in the sand.
I touched many lives,
With my life and my words.
And I just hope people remember me in the future.
I wrote my book and I have my site.
Two ways for you to see inside.
To see inside the heart and mind of a lifeless teen,
One filled with so much pain and misery.
I wish I could end it some other way
And not have to cause so many people this pain.
But this is the way that I must go.
This is the way to save my tortured soul.
So please just try not to forget
The one who gave up on life and everything in it.
Spread the word and let everyone know
How I saved my worthless soul.
Let everyone know how I left
And all the things I left you with.
Tell them of my words and my poems
And my love for songs.
Tell them of how I could never get what I want
And how I dreaded living so long.
Tell everybody I'm happy now
And that now I feel no pain.
Tell everybody I'm happy now
As I lie six feet deep.
Please let memories of me remain
In your heart as well as your brain.
So now I leave you with my last goodbye,
My final words to make you cry.