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Kenny B.'s Poems

Enjoy the works of Kenny B. One of the best poets I know.

Without You

I have a major confession
That I, too, have felt that depression
I, too, have felt so unneeded, so very dry
I have spent so many hours wondering, Why?

So many empty thoughts went through my head
Some days I just wish I were dead
Not wanting to strive, not caring why
But to just sit alone and cry

For hours and hours, just weep
Then the rest of the day, just sleep!
I came to the realization that this is not the way
That I should go, day by day

Worrying what everyone thought
And always wondering what I have brought
Into this trauma that I consider my life
All this pain, tribulation, and all the strife

Why me, why now, why, why?
This is not the question, I shouldnt deny
The question is more like, how?
How can I fix this right now?

How can I be helped, or do I want to be?
Do I want people to know the real me?
What is the answer? please tell me if you know
Then why does God, this way, his love show?

This is not what I deserve
My thoughts, my heart I want to preserve
This is not what I need
To whoever is listening, I plead

Please help me, look out for me
Show me the way it is, or the way it should be
Take my hand
Help me stand

Help me get through this
Being normal, I do miss
But what is real normality?
Is it true, is it what we call reality?

I dont know how to go on living this way
I dont whether to go or stay
I dont know how to make this feeling absent
In whom do I need to consent?

Should I surround myself with friends or be by myself?
Feel like no one cares, like I am put on a shelf
For people to judge and to stare
I am confused, all I know is that I dont care

I dont care about anyone or anything
But my friends, comfort they do bring
They bring a glimpse of sunshine and a smile
They bring some answers, bring me out of denial

Thank you to my loved ones that care
My life, my love I will share
You mean the world to me
Without you I wouldnt be!!!!!!!



Died

Rolling thunder drawing near.
Looking to the sky, hope within you building.
Standing lone, knees weak.
What now lies ahead?
Look around the baron grassland.
Dying stalks of sun dried wheat, twisting upon itself.
Wind strong gusts, burning at your back.
Clouds you see gray, emptiness inside.
The color of your tears you think.
A blackened, scared heart.
Cast your hands up to the sky, demand your answers now.
Thinking back, a reminiscing drought.
Looking down upon blood stained hands, God I tried so hard.
Never giving up, filled so much with hope.
Her inspiration guiding you, your light, drowned to the wind.
Crying out the hateful words of lost abandonment.
Searching for your soul of gray, are you wandering for naught?
Eyes of sullen lingering thoughts, gaze up upon the sky.
The thunder rolling over head, aching for it's light.
One lone tree your only friend, out among the field.
Hold your hands up to the sky, crying blood stained tears.
Glazed eyes of miserable despair searching the horizon, knowing she is there.

Deafening sound,  the light cast down, embrace its warmth.
Looking forward in the haze, ahead you see her soul.
Why is she not happy, why does she wear a frown?
Once you said you loved me, was it ever true?
Dying embers of your heart now left to fade.
I would give my life for you.. because my love was true.
As I lay here dying, the light of thunder taking me.
Breath of sweet life leaving.
Darkness climbing, winning over light.
The devil at my back taunting.
Dear God, what have I done?
As I lay there dying, few words I can only say.
I loved you once, and that is all that I could say.



No Guarantee

I'm writing one more poem,
hope this poem,
somehow let you see...
what's truly in me.

I'm writing you this,
so that you may appreciate.
So that to let you know....
I'm really in love with you.

I'm sorry to make you sad,
I'm sorry to do bad,
I'm sorry to let you stay mad,
I'm sorry to cause all that.

So, I don't care what's in the future.
I don't care how is the future.
What I know... I have you,
and all I know I now is that I'm in love with you.

I don't know if one day,
you may turn away,
or our love turns and fades,
or maybe I runaway.....

So... my gal...
stay strong....
hold my hand and walk...
to the world of uncertainty...
to the world where love is free...

As we enter this new world
I would like to know....
Will you hold my hand and kiss me?
And together we build our dreams?
Together we build our love story?
Together we build our history?
Together we make another love story?
Together we make another history?

I can't guarantee....
and you can't guarantee...
That our love will last forever....
That we shall prove it later...

But I can promise...
YOU will be part of me
from the day you and me
start to build our history..
to the day... I finally.....
Close my history............



Wishes

I can sense your confusion
feeling lost in illusion
I wish to be your guide

I can see your hurt
cutting deep into your heart
I wish to be your comfort

I can see your pain
fear it will happen again
I wish to be your cure

I can sense your passion
the feeling of total devotion
I wish to feel it. too

I can see all your Love
all around you like the light of day
I wish to share it



One Wish

If I had one wish,
I would wish for a love that would be strong.
If I had one wish,
I would wish for a love that would last long.

If I had one wish,
I would wish for a beautiful woman to be by my side.
If I had one wish,
I would wish for someone to be there when I cry.

If I had one wish,
I would wish for someone to warm up when they are cold.
If I had one wish,
I would just wish for someone to hold.

If I had one wish,
I would wish for you.
Would you wish for me too?



One Day

Staring in the darkness!
In the shadows, I hide!
One day in the future!
I'll tell you what's inside!

Shyness overcomes me!
Whenever you're around!
Each second that I'm near you,
My heart begins to pound!

A slight infatuation!
This may turn out to be!
Or maybe it's much deeper!
But, i guess, we'll just wait and see!

I'm imagining your body!
Held tightly next to mine!
The warmth and sweetness of your kiss
And loving you for all time!

Still I linger in my silence!
Alone in bed at night!
Hoping one day for that chance
When I can make you mine!



Love Or Like

Most of us know how to like
But only a few know how to love
It's because "Love" and "Like" are not the same
Love is to suffer, Like is to enjoy

He who likes pretends to feel
He who loves gives up life
And he who likes pretends to forget
And never cry or feel pain

He who loves can't think
Gives everything without a question
And he who likes pretends to live
And never suffer or worry

"Like" wants to finish fast
"Love" does not know an end
It's because everyone knows how to like
But few know how to Love

"Love" is the sky and our light
"Love" is total fullness
It is the ocean without an end
It is glory and peace

"Like" is words and flowers
It is to look for the dark corner
It is to bite, kill, and kiss
It's a brief wish

He who loves never thinks
And gives his life
And he who likes pretends to forget
And never cry

It's because everyone knows how to like
But only a few know how to love

Which one are you?



Ant

I live my life one step at a time.
Going day by day.
I wander life's path aimlessly,
trying to find my way.

At times that path gets dark,
but then a light shines through,
and I see you've come to save me
and take me along with you.

You take me to a new world
that without you I wouldn't see.
You've become my inspiration
and such a role model to me.

When my goals can go no higher
you give me something to aim for.
You've taught me not to settle
and to always seek for more.

You're accomplishments overwhelm me.
I wish I could do the same.
I gather courage from your picture,
which I've placed inside a frame.

You know you're like my brother.
You see me with different eyes.
You'll always tell the truth to me
and never feed me lies.

You help me find the difference
between wrong and right,
and when I need to talk
I can call you day or night.

It's no question that you're there for me.
You've seen me shed many tears.
For, you open up your soul to me
and listen with both ears.

We've learned so much from each other.
We've become some people new.
We've helped each other become stronger.
Now there's nothing we can't do.



Escape

She goes to bed, crying until she falls asleep
She dreams dark dreams of her endless weep
Sun shines through the window; she's dreading the wake
Sun shows no mercy on the day it will make
She drags herself up and crawls out of bed
She seems alive, but feels so dead
Unplugs the phone; locks the door
Sits alone on the cold, hard floor
Cloudy thoughts haunt her mind
She begs for an end, an escape to find
Thoughts getting stronger she can no longer bare
She makes up her mind that no one will care
She runs to the bathroom and grabs her pills
One~by~one, her mouth she fills
She looks in the mirror and says with a smile
"It's almost over, just a little while"
She lies on the floor, begins counting sheep
This Day has it's grip, but HER it can't keep
Eyes getting heavy she lets them close
Her Misery inside no one knows
Counting slowly, her sheep start to spin
...7...8...9...10.



A Dream

She couldn't have known
Laying there dreaming in her sleep
I watched the rhythm of her breathing
And took it as my own.
Silently I turned and walked away
Wondering if her sighs were hints of my name
If her slumber thoughts were all of me
Was I the pillow she held tightly that way?
I ventured back in another night
Barely enough light to chance a peek
She sat with a book, looking lovingly at the pages
Was there mention of us in the black and white?
Silently I turned and walked away
Knowing her heart and eyes were as one
Were there words of me that made her smile
Would she ever truly say?
I slept away myself, and ever so much deeper
Dreaming on and on of a picnic scene
The perfect spot of quiet and green
On that blanket I wanted to always keep her.
Begging my God for me not to wake
We lay back, face to face
No words at all, only eyes meeting eyes
Love is a rain drop, a puddle, a stream, then a lake.
The grass and the trees staged a romantic play
Robins and jaybirds sang for us
As all the clouds tried dancing with the sun
All the world turned around us where we lay.
Begging my God for me not to wake
Pleading for more time and darkness of night
Dawn snuck in and slapped open my eyes.
Send me back to dreamland, for heavens sake.



Mommy, It'z Me Your Lil Boy

A shout, a slap
a child falls down
eyes filled with hurt
he makes not a sound

A voice so sharp
yelling in anger
child cowering
quiet as can be

bruises on his arms
cuts on his neck
nothing to call his own
he's now such a sad thing

Mommy, Itz me your lil boy
now, covered in pain
but after what you've done
I'd rather be, covered in dirt!



Hope

i sit at home,
and all i can think about is you,
wishing that you knew my secret,
of what i am going through.

you're like a dream,
too good to be true,
as beautiful as a star,
shining out in the dark blue.

i think about you everyday,
i can't get you out of my mind,
i can't compare you to any other,
you're my most treasured find.

never have i seen,
someone so beautiful and sweet,
when i look into your eyes,
you knock me off of my feet.

i want to hold you,
hold you tight in my arms,
to protect you,
keep you away from any harms.

people think,
angels are a myth,
i know an angel,
one that i am falling in love with.

but i wish you loved me,
as much as i love you,
if only you knew,
the things that i would do.

the happiest day of my life,
would be for my dreams to come true,
when i can say that i love you,
and you say that you love me too.



Foreseen

I often sit outside my house
and gaze into the sky,
The beauty of the stars so bright
makes me want to fly.

And when I gaze into your eyes
it makes me feel the same
You're my bright and shining light,
I'm the wick, you're my flame.

The beauty of a sunset,
reflecting on the bay.
The wonder of a rainbow,
painting the sky on a rainy day

The exotic aroma of a thousand roses,
Which tantalize the sense of a thousand noses.
The splendor of a bright white swan,
So free and swift in flight.

I love these things so beautiful,
But I won't lose sleep at night.
When I lay my head to rest,
And close my eyes to sleep,

I have but one thing on my mind
and it can't be beat.
I dream your heart belongs to me,
I hold you in my arms,

I only wish you could see,
I love you, and your countless charms.
In a world so beautiful, 
you are all I hold dear.

And when I cannot be with you
My eyes well up and tear.
I wish you could just read my thoughts,
And know what's in my heart.

My lack of courage means
we must live our lives apart.
Although it breaks my heart to say
I've known this from the start.



Lonely And Thinking Of You

When I'm alone at night,
I hear the beating of my heart!
I should tell you... or shouldn't i?
But i might!
All i dream about, all i think about is you!
Nothing more or nothing less then you!
You just have something i can't let go of!
People say Love is blind... But they were wrong!
You couldn't see the love of your life
standing right in front of you!
You wanted her for so long
You're asking yourself is she right for me?
can it work out?
Then... someone else walks into her life!
You're regretting not saying anything to her!
Now love is blind
What do you see now... not yourself with her!
Another man got her!
You wish you didn't exist!
Thinking of her all night long,...
Tears might run down your face
You can't do anything about it
now your chance is gone!



For *****!

If I asked you out would you agree
To give just one chance to a guy like me?
I may not be the best, or have the most,
But there are a few things I can boast.

I have a heart with room for you,
I'll treat you right and you will never be blue.
I have two shoulders waiting for a head,
To cry on them and sleep on in bed.

I have two eyes that see nothing more,
Than a beautiful girl that I adore.
I have two arms, for you they long to hold,
To protect you from harm, keep you from cold.

I have a mouth that longs to say,
How perfect you are, but the words get in the way.
I have these fingers that want to feel
Your soft skin, turn fiction to real.

I have these lips that want to meet,
A pair of lips soft and sweet.
I've got a mind that you're stuck in-
Nights when I sleep and when the day begins.

So if I asked you
would you try
and make these dreams come true
for me, myself, and I?



Relief
Each day has more hours, now, they never seem to end
Can't seem to find any way to let my broken heart mend
Never seems to be any tomorrow... there's only today
And this perpetual heartache that won't go away.

So many memories, of her, still fill my mind
Just one pathway, to her, I seek to find
But, the road's not there... it doesn't exist
I'll never again find the one I have so missed.

When will I have piece of mind, so I can live again,
When will the clouds clear from the day and let the sunshine in?
How many more sleepless nights must I still have to face,
After the dark of day is gone and a starless night takes it's place?

That ravenous desire, for her, is still alive within
Wish it could cease as quickly as it did begin
I'll keep going through the motions, in this life, I must go on
But, there'll be no peace of mind... just a love I had for you,
That is now gone.



Reality

You ever wonder why people dream dreams.
They do it to get want they can't ever have, it seems.

When people dream they can be what they want to be,
But when I dream I'm with you, as you can see.

Sometimes we are a couple, sometimes we are even more,
Other times we are just friends, when the relationship is sore.

Sometimes I've even thought of you and me on a date,
I would take you to a movie or some place really great.

I have even thought of seeing you with another guy,
I know we aren't going out, but I felt like I could die.

I've even had dreams, where I mess up really bad,
Those are the dreams that, I believe, have left you feeling sad.

I also had a dream where you wouldn't talk to me,
And then I woke up, and it was reality.

The latest dream I had was the sunshine leaving others jealous and scorning,
But I realize a dream is just a dream and I have to wake up in the morning.



Inside
You always put a smile on my face
and that's what I adore
Friendship is what we've got
but I wish it could be more
I had my eyes on you
since last year
I want so much to be with you
but my mind and my heart
Faces all these fears...
For you to even know
just how I feel inside
I could only show you friendship
but the love, I have to hide
My dreams, and thoughts about you
can't come true
Because of unspoken words
I didn't know what to do
One day, when these words
will come out
And then I'll show you
WHAT MY LOVE FOR YOU
IS ALL ABOUT......



Crush

I need some advice,
I don't know what to do...
We've been friends for some time,
That's why I'm coming to you...
I'm in a situation,
I don't know what to do,
I'm crushing on this one girl,
She drives me crazy, too...
 
You should see her smile,
It lights my darkest night,
You should hear her laugh,
My loneliness it fights.
 
I wish you could feel my heart,
Whenever she's around,
A simple smile or gesture,
Makes my heart pound.
 
I've known her for a while,
As she has known me, too,
Please, oh, can't you help me...
I think I love her, too...
 
She's a good friend to me,
As perfect as can be,
I long to feel her love,
She's like an angel from above.
 
I'm not sure what to do,
I think she knows this too,
But it's her I really love,
She was definitely sent from up above...
 
So, tell me what I should do,
Reveal my feelings true,
Or keep them deep inside?
But these feelings I can't hide...
 
I need some advice...
I don't know what to do,
Because this girl I'm crushing on,
Is actually you...



Best Friend

I would rather be your best friend,
Than your boyfriend.
Best friends stay,
When boyfriends leave.

A best friend is the shoulder you can cry on.
When you are alone,
They keep you company.
When you are sad,
They cheer you up.

They have the trust you are looking for.
When you have a problem...
They solve it.
When you need to talk...
They will listen.

And best friends have a love that can't be explained.



My Desire

As I pen these words flowing from my heart
The magic that animates my desire
Rests only in the pool of your eyes,
The warm caress of your smile,
And the gentle embrace of your touch.

Whenever I am with you,
My heart longs for such connection.
Pouring over your soul.
Helplessly waiting,
For the slightest indication of the 'you', I long to have.

The music of your voice stirs desire within,
Penetrating the base of my being.
My imagination soars,
When your longing reaches out to me,
Fantasizing how it will feel,
To let my fingertips dance across the many faces of your skin,
Exploring and discovering everything about you.



Lovers Beach

I walked with you along the beach
and found there was no need for speech.
The loving touch of hand on hand,
the whispered breeze and softly sand
spoke to our hearts with gentle sound
as there we shared the love we found.

I held you tight and kissed your tears
and whispered love words in your ears.
A smile of dazzling, radiant grace
beamed sunlight from your angel face.

We strolled on further arm in arm
and like the sea no longer calm;
our urgent pounding wild desire
coursed through our veins, like brimstone fire.

And as the moon peaked through the clouds
engulfing us in a silver shroud;
our glorious love no more confined,
we made our lives together intertwining.



Death

Fall to my grave, begging forgiveness on bended knee,
asking heaven above to please return me.
It's too late now, I waited too long,
this is how it ends-you thought I knew all along.
Your death was unknown to me at first,
when I heard about it, my heart did burst.
An accident, surely, I thought it must be,
"she'd never end her life over me."
The life of our love is now gone forever,
what once was a beautiful treasure.
"I'm not worth dying over", I think,
to calm the pain, I swallow a drink.
I hurt you when alcohol controlled my life,
so, you, in return, hurt me by using a knife.
The note said it all, told of your pain;
of the heartache and longing you’d never feel again.
I read, re-read, and read it once more,
the third time I saw it I collapsed on the floor.
The note of your death went something like this:
"it all began with one tender kiss.
My love, my life, I'll miss you so much,
your sweet embrace, your gentle touch.
You loved me and you never lied,
as my purity was casually tossed aside.
You knew I'd do anything for your love once more,
but all you could do is slam the door.
My love, my hate, all swept away,
for your selfishness, soon you will pay.
I couldn't keep you; the alcohol won,
all of your deception, you thought was fun.
Now you bear the burden of my death,
till the bitter end, till your very last breath..."
As I read this, you pray I’m overcome with depression,
knowing in reality, it will be washed away in sin.
So as I pray to the heavens, asking why,
I think of your note, as I cry.



When Nobody Cares

She cried out for help, no one was there,
nobody listened, they didn't care.
People kept walking further away,
leaving her with no one to wipe the tears away.
She looked for a friend, nobody came,
nobody liked her, and there was no one to blame.
All those years with nobody loving her,
really hurt, and made her dreams all a blur.
Her future looked hopeless, a deep dark black,
people always stabbing her in the back.
Soon she grew tired of the hatred and pain,
said, "I'm leaving here, there's nothing for me to gain."
She left with a bang, stunning everyone,
killing herself with her father's gun.
Everyone laughed, nobody cried,
it was a party when she died,
one lonely girl, killing herself and so scared,
just because nobody cared.



Tears of unknown Love

Slicing and dicing, she cuts deeper and deeper,
seeing just one drop of blood will make her happy.
Crying and shaking, she raises the knife,
wishing for the courage to take her own life.
Pushing harder on the blade, trying to die,
she often just sits and wonders why;
why are people so selfish and hating,
nobody knows the pain she suffers through.
She just wants love, why don't they understand this?,
nobody says I love you or asks her how she is doing.
Wanting love more than anything in the world,
wanting to feel pretty once in awhile.
Crying and trying to die once again,
all she really needs is one caring friend.
Depressed all the time for reasons unknown to her,
wishing all the pain would just go disappear.
Trying to be happy and funny is hard for her,
even when doing things she once did enjoy.
No courage to actually kill herself,
just cutting makes her feel better.
Wishing she could die, not knowing why,
just wanting love and companionship.
Crying and shaking, she raises the knife,
wishing for the courage to take her own life...



I Like You

What is it that you do
that makes me want to get closer to you?
Sometimes at night,
I wish you were there, so I could hold you tight.
When I look in your eyes, and see how they seem to sparkle and shine,
I wait for the day when you will be mine.
If you only understood,
oh how I wish you could.
Its hard for me to say exactly how I feel,
I want to protect you, something like a shield.
When I'm around you I always try to act like a clown,
'cause the last thing I want, is to see you frown.
I like you the way you are
there's no need to change
I like you soo much, you just gotta kall me we can hang.
Even though my feelings are locked up in a jar ,
I just want to let you know, I Like You... just the way you are.



As with my poems, these will also be updated frequently.